THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS........MOM STYLE

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode

Only one creature was stirring, she was cleaning the commode.

      

The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,

while visions of Nintendo 64 & Barbie flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring in front of the TV,

with a half-constructed bicycle propped on his knee.

                      

                         

So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,

which made her sigh, "Now what is the matter?"

With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,

She descended the stairs, & saw the old man.

He was covered with ashes & soot, which fell with a shrug,

"Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."

"Ho Ho Ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."

"your gift was especially difficult to make."

"Thanks, Santa, but all I that I want is time alone."

"Exactly!" he chuckled, "So, I've made you a clone."

"A clone?" she muttered, "What good is that?"

"Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit chat."

Then out walked the clone - The mother's twin,

Same hair, same eyes, same double chin.

                  

"She'll cook, she'll dust, she will  mop every mess.

You'll relax, take it easy, watch The Young & The Restless."

"Fantastic!" the mom cheered. "My dream has come true!"

"I'll shop, I'll read, I'll sleep a night through!"

From the room above, the youngest did fret.

"Mommy?! Come quickly, I'm scared & I'm wet."

The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."

"Hey," the mom smiled, "she sure knows her part."

The clone changed the small one & hummed him a tune,

as she bundled the child in a blanket cocoon.

"You're the best mommy ever. I really love you."

The clone smiled & sighed, "And I love you, too."

The mom frowned & said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal."

That's my child's LOVE she is trying to steal."

Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear,

Only one loving mother is needed here."

The mom kissed her child & tucked her in bed.

"Thank You, Santa, for clearing my head.

I sometimes forget, it won't be very long,

when they'll be too old for my cradle & song."

The clock on the mantle began to chime.

Santa whispered to the clone, "It works every time."

With the clone by his side, Santa said "Goodnight.

Merry Christmas, dear Mom, You will be all right."

Something For Mom

The Santa Claus at the mall was very surprised

when a young lady about twenty years old

 walked up and sat on his lap.

 Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults,

 but she smiled very nicely,

so he asked her,

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"Something for my mother," said the young lady.

         

"Something for your mother?

 Well, that's very thoughtful of you," smiled Santa.

"What do you want me to bring her? "

Without blinking she replied,

 "A son-in-law!"

       

 

Walkin in a Doggie Wonderland

    

Dog tags ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
It's yellow, NOT white I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.

Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee, it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland."

In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg and let it go Man,
So all the world will know that it's mine-mine-mine! 

   

 Straight from me to the fence post,
flows my natural incense boast;
"Stay off my TURF, this small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland."  

Grammy's On The Internet

 

Grandma used to be scared of a mouse,

Would scream if one got in the house.
Now she hugs one night and day,
She'd rather cuddle it than stay
On the couch and watch t.v.
Her first love now is her P.C.

Windows were glass she'd wash and look through,
Now they are programs to help her view
The earth and the sea and the beautiful sky.

A virus was something from which you could die.
Now it's a nuisance that could spoil your day,
But it can be fixed and sent on its way.

She served her time with diapers and dishes,
Now she can do whatever she wishes.
And if that means staying up half the night
To point arrows at icons - that's really alright.

A bit was something you had little of,
Now it takes eight bytes to make the above.
It's all so confusing, it makes her head ache.

A byte was something you take from a cake.
She's learning more about it now,
Her young grandchild showed her how.

So if you want to contact Grammy send emails!

At her computer that's where she'll be!

Dolly and Reba snoop for presents

 They've been good all year, 

there must be something for us here.

This is what Dolly looks like from the front.

 

Remember, “A dog,” the saying goes, “is for life, not just Christmas."

 Shania

Frankie's challenge

Just as I get tall enough to climb on the couch,

Some rat fink raises it.

Maybe Santa will give Frankie some steps for Christmas.

Doggone.

Hope I got a T-bone in there.

Best teachers on ice

Lilli has made some new friends that 

know their way around the ice.

Be careful Lilli, some penguins don't play nice.

I Love you Lilli.