My Human Pet

When I was just a kitten,

My mother said to me.

     "Someday, you'll have a human pet,

They're cuddly and they're free".

She said "They're awful clumsy,
They stumble, trip, and fall.
They cannot even see a Cat,

 Sleeping in a hall".

"They act as if they own the place,
They're bossy every day".
"You'll learn you must ignore them

It's just the human way".

So, I took my Mom's advice,
I got a human pet.

I have named her Anne,
And she's cuddly as they get.

Owning Anne's been some fun,
And usually we are friends.

But she can be a handful,
I'm glad she wasn't twins.

Humans really aren't too bright,
Their brains are small, I guess.
While trying hard to train her,

I've not had much success.

She doesn't seem to understand,
How things are 'posed to be.

She insists on being headstrong,
Not mellowed out, like me.

She hasn't learned to lick herself,
To keep her body clean.

And when it comes to purring,
She isn't very keen.

She plays on her computer,
Just wasting time away.
When playing with a ball of string,

Could really make her day.

She's seems content to sit there,
Banging on those keys.

While I inspect her ankles,
Checking them for fleas.

When my neighbors visit me,
We sneak out to the bushes.
We laugh about our human pets,

While sitting on our tushes.

Anne's getting up in years,
And becoming rather slow.
There are a lot of cats out there,

Who'd say she has to go.

But I'm inclined to keep her,
I've considered this a lot.

Why train another human pet,
When I love the one I've GOT.