Happy New Year.

Bad way to end the year and even worse way to start a new one.

Hubby and I have been sick since last Friday. By Sunday 

I had him in ER because he couldn't breathe.

Bronchitis minus phenomena.  

An all day process and 5 new meds.

We were both too tired for me to get treatment.

Went Monday to my least favorite Dr.

(Nurses must have warned him, cause 

hot butter wouldn't melt in his mouth) 

I went in with sinusitis and came out with diabeties

from all the "sugar" coming out his mouth.

Hell, he even threatened me with a hug.

So here I sit sniffing, coughing and blowing my nose,

Praying to the good Lord for health real soon.

May you and yours have a Happy, Healthy and Prosperous New Year.

Down for the count

My luck has run out. 

Over three years

since I got sick.

Be back as soon 

as I can hold my head up 

for at least 5 minutes @ a time.

Filling in

Filling in with a few quick funnies.

Doing a hard drive clean-up for better PC performance.
Back with more later.

I know you don't want to hear this

'Twas the Day AFTER Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,

 Every creature was hurtin', even the mouse.

 The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;

Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,

 While upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,

Went into the kitchen and started to clean.

 

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

 I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

 Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

 But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

 The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;

The patch on his jacket said, "U.S. POSTMAN."

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox,

Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

 Bill after bill, after bill, they still came,

 Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

"Now Target, now Best Buy, now Penny's and Sears.

 There's eBay and Amazon - you're up to your ears!

 To the tip of your limit, every store, every mall,

 Now charge away - charge away - charge away all!"

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.

He filled up the box, then turned with a jerk.

 He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,

Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then, I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,

 "Enjoy what you got . . . you'll be paying all year!"

Not necessarily the views of this blogger

T'was a Florida Christmas

T'was the night before Christmas and all through the town,
no noses were frozen, no snow fluttered down,

no children in flannels were tucked into bed,
they all wore shorty pajamas instead.

To find wreaths of holly, t'was not very hard,
for holly trees grew in every back yard.
In front of the houses, Dads and Moms were

adorning the bushes and coconut palms.

The sleeping kiddies were dreaming in glee,
hoping to find surfing boards under the tree.

They all knew that Santa was well on his way,
in a special plane, instead of a sleigh.

And soon he arrived and started to work,
he hadn't a second to linger or shirk.

He whizzed up the highways and zoomed up the road,
in a S-L 300, delivering his loads.

The tropical moon gave the city a glow,
and lighted the way for old Santa below.
As he jumped from the plane he gave a wee chuckle,
he was dressed in Bermudas with an Ivy league buckle,

There weren't any chimneys, but that caused no gloom,
for Santa came in through the Florida room.
He stopped at each house....stayed only a minute,
emptying his sack of stuff that was in it.

Before he departed, he treated himself
to a glass of papaya juice upon the shelf.

He turned with a jerk and bounced to the plane,
remembering he still had to go very far.

He shifted the gears and stepped on the gas
and up Highway 436 he went like a flash.
And I heard him exclaim as he went on his way,

"MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL, I WISH I COULD STAY

Subj: Senior Humor

 

 

 

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."   Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck."

Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"
_____________________________________

DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER 

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!"

An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant!"

Bessie thinks a minute and says, "Close enough."

_____________________________________
OLD FRIENDS
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me... I know we've been friends for a long time but I just can't think of your name. I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said,

"How soon do you need to know?"
_____________________________________

SENIOR DRIVING
As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Vernon, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on M25. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
_____________________________________
SUPERSEX

A little old lady who had lost her marbles was running up and down the halls in a nursing home.

As she ran, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say "Supersex."

She ran up to an elderly man in a wheelchair, flipping her gown at him, she said, "Supersex."

He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, "I'll take the soup."

_____________________________________
DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to major crossroad. The stop light was red, but they just went on through.

The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another major junction and the light was red again. Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.

At the next junction, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh! Am I driving?"

Please!!!! Friends, tell me this won't happen to us!!!!

Christmas in Heaven

Holidays

A

VERY

MERRY

CHRISTMAS

ONE & ALL

No matter your belief, religion or background, 

may you feel peace and love

 For you my audience and followers

To my Hubby