What carol is heard in the dessert?
Camel ye fathful!
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, jungle bells!
What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy claws!
What is Santa’s dog called?
Santa Paws!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither, candles always burn shorter!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas?
He got 12 months!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop needles!
Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
It went with a bang!
How do you make idiots laugh on boxing day?
Tell them a joke on Christmas Eve!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do rocket scientists get?
Missile-toe!
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else!
How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one, after that it’s not empty any more!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitus!
What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow!
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it!
Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
What did the big angel say to the little angel?
Halo there!
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
Santa Clues!
What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrot?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snow ball!
What goes: now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?
A snowman on a zebra crossing!
What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!
What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backwards!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name again!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho ho ho!
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L (noel)!
What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?
The letter D!
Why is it always cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decemberrrr!
What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night!
What’s impossible to overtake at Christmas?
The three wide men!
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit?
Crisp Cringle!
What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
Santa Pause!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe!
What did the guest sing at the snowman's Christmas party?
Freeze a jolly fellow!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season!
What's a sheep's favourite Christmas carol?
We wish ewe a merry christmas.
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey - he's always stuffed!
Who's working at MI5 on Christmas Day?
Mince spies!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
Why was the turkey the drummer in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake!
What do you call an old snowman?
Water!
Camel ye fathful!
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, jungle bells!
What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy claws!
What is Santa’s dog called?
Santa Paws!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither, candles always burn shorter!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas?
He got 12 months!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop needles!
Did you hear about the cracker's Christmas party?
It went with a bang!
How do you make idiots laugh on boxing day?
Tell them a joke on Christmas Eve!
How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even!
If athletes get athletes foot, what do rocket scientists get?
Missile-toe!
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas?
No, you can have turkey like everyone else!
How many presents can Santa fit in an empty sack?
Only one, after that it’s not empty any more!
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitus!
What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow!
What is the best Christmas present in the world?
A broken drum – you can’t beat it!
Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan!
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!
What did the big angel say to the little angel?
Halo there!
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
What do you get if you cross Santa Claus with a detective?
Santa Clues!
What do you sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!
How does a snowman lose weight?
He waits for the weather to get warmer!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes!
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Can you smell carrot?
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!
Where do snowmen go to dance?
A snow ball!
What goes: now you see me, now you don’t, now you see me, now you don’t?
A snowman on a zebra crossing!
What goes ho-ho whoosh, ho-ho whoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!
What goes “oh, oh, oh”?
Santa walking backwards!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use – I’ve forgotten my name again!
Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can ho ho ho!
When does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary!
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas one has no L (noel)!
What do you have in December that’s not in any other month?
The letter D!
Why is it always cold at Christmas?
Because it’s in Decemberrrr!
What Christmas carol is a favorite of parents?
Silent Night!
What’s impossible to overtake at Christmas?
The three wide men!
What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when the fire is lit?
Crisp Cringle!
What do you call Santa Claus when he doesn’t move?
Santa Pause!
How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A merry Christmas to ewe!
What did the guest sing at the snowman's Christmas party?
Freeze a jolly fellow!
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Snowflakes!
What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards?
Best vicious of the season!
What's a sheep's favourite Christmas carol?
We wish ewe a merry christmas.
Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey - he's always stuffed!
Who's working at MI5 on Christmas Day?
Mince spies!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
Why was the turkey the drummer in the pop group?
Because he was the only one with drumsticks!
What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake!
What do you call an old snowman?
Water!
ert?
Camel ye fathful!
Camel ye fathful!
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, jungle bells!
Jungle bells, jungle bells!
What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy claws!
Sandy claws!
What is Santa’s dog called?
Santa Paws!
Santa Paws!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
A pineapple!
What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither, candles always burn shorter!
Neither, candles always burn shorter!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas?
He got 12 months!
He got 12 months!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!
Claustrophobic!
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop needles!
They both drop needles!
Read more at http://www.hellokids.com/c_5613/reading-online/jokes-and-riddles/christmas-jokes/christmas-holiday-jokes#FKBeupa3fjFRdXfS.99
What carol is heard in the dessert?
Camel ye fathful!
Camel ye fathful!
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle bells, jungle bells!
Jungle bells, jungle bells!
What does a cat on the beach have in common with Christmas?
Sandy claws!
Sandy claws!
What is Santa’s dog called?
Santa Paws!
Santa Paws!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A pineapple!
A pineapple!
What kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither, candles always burn shorter!
Neither, candles always burn shorter!
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar at Christmas?
He got 12 months!
He got 12 months!
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!
Claustrophobic!
Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters?
They both drop needles!
They both drop needles!
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