Birthday Bunch

You wanted a Birthday Brunch? Sorry I thought you wanted a Birthday Bunch.

Bunch of blooming roses.

Let your hair down.

Go out and paint the town 

And dance like no-one is watching.

Coffee anyone?

Meet Portland Oregon's very own Coffee Bean Queen.

(disclaimer: this is NOT any reflection on Tim)

My beautiful stepdaughter. <3 <3

Weaker sex

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

  Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said,

 "For being such an exemplary married couple

 and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." 

  "Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband"

 said the wife.

                 

The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra! -

two tickets for the new QM2 luxury liner appeared in her hands.

  Now it was the husbands turn. He thought for a moment and said:

 "Well this is all very romantic,

 but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime,

 so, I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me".

The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish..

So the fairy made a circle with her magic stick and - abracadabra!

  - the husband became 92 years old!

The moral of this story:

 Men might be ungrateful idiots,

But fairies are female

 First the Apple

A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man's car.  Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly neither of them was hurt. 

After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said; “Wow, just look at our cars!  There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied,” I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!”

The woman continued, “And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.” Then she hands the bottle to the man. 

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. 

The man asks, “Aren't you having any?” 

 She replies, “Nah. I think I'll just wait for the police.”

  Adam ate the apple, too!

Men will  never learn!!

Inheritance.

Wade and Beverly have inherited a haunted castle, but  they don't mind.
I can't quite make out the tune. Is that an Irish jig the McGhee's are dancing to?

 

Looks like a good time is being had by all.

Hope this hits your funny bone. <3

Excuses, excuses!

I have several reasons for the current state of my body...

I still say ...

These are my stories and I'm sticking to them.